How I Became More Confident | My Body-Neutrality Journe

Boudoir Self-Photography

Hi! This is me, Rebecca Burt. As a boudoir photographer I feel it is important that I challenge myself to the same vulnerability that my clients are faced with. The ability to see what it’s like being in front of the camera, allows me to feel more connected with clients during their boudoir experience. It’s easy to think “I wish I had their confidence!” when seeing images of women expressing their femininity and sexuality. Truth is - most times clients do not walk into the studio feeling confident. I even had a moment before this selfie session that my confidence and inner thoughts were challenged. Confidence is more than just the way your body looks. Actually, i’m learning it has very little to do with that idea. It’s about your mind. It’s about believing that you are a strong, beautiful and powerful force. That comes with time, with surrounding yourself with people who inspire you to try new things, be yourself (fully) and speak positively about themselves. Pushing yourself to step out of your comfort zone. It comes with not caring about others opinions when you’re putting on that outfit you really want to wear but are too afraid of what people will think. It’s realizing that people, in most cases, don’t give a damn about what you’re wearing. And if they do, that’s a problem they need to work on within themselves.

Self Confidence

So how did I become this confident version of myself who would even dare take boudoir photos like this of myself?

• I freed myself from the false narrative that I have to be skinny to take up space in this world.

• I began experiencing life without guilt. Yes, I will order dessert now and not have the thought “do people think I eat too much?”

• I allowed myself to experience love in its entirety. Having confidence has made me a better partner. My husband is so attracted to me because I don’t constantly put myself down in front of him or question why he’s with me, when I look the way that I do. I am beautiful and he can see that I know that, about myself.

• I stopped hiding from the mirror. I spent a whole year avoiding mirrors. Longest I went was a week straight. Now I wake up in the morning, stand in front of the mirror, strike a pose and take in my beauty..

• I stopped holding myself back from indulging in my desires, femininity and fantasies.

• I began prioritizing myself. For me this was going to the doctor for regular check ups, getting my eyebrows done, getting more regular haircuts, sticking with a skin routine and taking my vitamins.

• I stopped letting my size dictate what I wear. Seeing folks on TikTok who have bodies like mine really helped me to see that I can be fashionable as a plus size woman.

• I began unfollowing accounts that weren’t body positive or a reflection of my journey.

• I allowed myself to let out my inner-child. This was a tough one that took a big nudge from my therapist. I believe that when you freely let out your inner-child, you are reminded of who you truly are at your core..

• I stopped saving travel for “when I lose weight”. You are only holding yourself back from living if you keep telling yourself that. In the last four years i’ve been to - California (4-5x), Ireland, Belgium, Puerto Rico, Hawaii, New York City and I will be heading to Nicaragua and Maine this year.

• I got nude in front of strangers. Haha! Let me explain. I went to a nude beach in Hawaii and joined the crowd. That day I learned a valuable lesson. We are all human! Also, the things we think people are judging us for are often not even a thought in their mind.

• I started to surround myself with people who accept me for who I am. This is so important. Surround yourself with other’s who are body positive or neutral, inspire you and provide a safe space for you to be yourself.

• I started getting in front of the camera. One of my favorite things to do now is take photos in front a mirror. It makes me appreciate my body even more, as it is, right now.

• I booked the boudoir session. Phew! That felt like a tough one. Boudoir is such an intimate and vulnerable experience. That session was the catalyst for my journey. Seeing my body from a different perspective felt like I was looking at a whole different person. Realizing that the woman in the photos was ME. That was such a powerful moment for me.

So, practice speaking kindly to yourself. Right now! The more you practice the more you’ll replace all of the negative thoughts with positive ones. Dance in front of the mirror. Don’t be afraid to look silly. Let people watch. They’re probably watching because they admire your confidence!

I’m so happy that I woke up one day hating the way that I talk to and treat myself INSTEAD of my body. I can’t turn back because I have never felt THIS good. Even when I occupied a smaller body. I feel completely free, like my life has just begun!

I challenge you to say something kind about yourself, to yourself, every single day. Make it a habit. Will there be bad days? Um, yes! You’re human! But at the end of the day, with practice, that negative thoughts will be fleeting thoughts. Become your own muse.

Self portraits on an iPhone because gear should never stop you from being in the frame and discovering new ways to explore your body.