Self-Esteem Is A Skill | How To Build Your Self-Esteem and Confidence

Yep! Self- Esteem is a skill

Why is that so great to hear?!

BECAUSE ANYONE CAN LEARN THE SKILL!

It just takes practice! Like with any skill, you are not going to be a pro right away. You will have days that feel easier than others. Don’t be hard on yourself. Unlearning behaviors that feel second nature to us TAKES TIME.

Perfection is not the goal; Neutrality is.

Here are a few things that I did to build up my self-esteem:

Stop and recognize the positives.

What do you actually like about yourself? I wrote them down and focused on them. Constantly focusing on the negative, never left room for me to focus on anything else. It consumed me in the most unproductive way possible.

Daily affirmations

I am not kidding when I say I was spent 2021 and some of 2022 SO INSECURE that I avoided mirrors. It wasn’t until I confronted the mirror and what I saw looking back at me, that I truly began to heal. I would practice affirmations.

“I am beautiful” “I am strong” “I deserve happiness”

Did it feel silly some days? 100% yes. But I didn't give up and each time, slowly, began to get easier and easier. The hardest thing to do was to fight the urge to tear myself a part when looking at myself. I conditioned my brain to react in a repulsive way when seeing myself in the mirror. Breaking that habit has made getting ready for the day a whole lot easier.

Prioritize self-care

The struggle it was being a mom and wife and making the big decision to prioritize my self-care, first. The guilt was real. But that guilt fades. The truth is ~

WHEN YOU LOOK GOOD. YOU FEEL GOOD. WHEN YOU FEEL GOOD YOU PERFORM AT YOUR BEST AND ACCOMPLISH GREAT THINGS!

Have you been putting off - those regular hair trims? getting a pedicure? dedicating a portion of your day to YOU? You don’t have to start BIG by booking a vacation (not a bad idea though), you just have to start. Once you start you have to keep going.

SNAP A SELFIE … OR TWO!

Once I stopped avoiding the mirror, I moved onto photos! I would take a nude or underwear selfie in the mirror every morning. This might not be everyone’s cup of tea but in my experience, it helped me. I started to watch my body move and it helped me to get familiar with what other’s see. Which I learned… was not all of the nasty things I told myself constantly. These can be only for you. You can share them with your partner or whoever you want to who consents. I’m a praise kink girlie haha so receiving feedback from my husband made me more motivated to keep going. I also began to love what I saw.

YOU ARE WORTH IT!

“YOU ARE WHO YOU SURROUND YOURSELF WITH”

I never took that as seriously as I should have. When I think of how my progress is now vs all of my past attempts, a big thing that has changed is who I am surrounded by. Being surrounded by people who put themselves and others down, is only going to make you do the same. Energy is powerful, and that sort of negative energy, whether we believe it or not, is absorbed.. BY US! When I look at the people I surround myself with, I see people who are adventurous, diverse, body-neutral, and inspire me to be myself. When I surrounded myself with people who were and did the opposite, while I was working on my self-esteem, it was too much of draining task to be around them. I constantly had to do the mental work to be okay when they talked about diets, the gym, how bad they look, how bad someone else looks, etc.

Content matters

I share more about this in my past blog post here.

Do you need a push? Booking a boudoir session is a GREAT way to begin the process.

Boudoir is the epitome of self-care. As you prep for your session you might shop for new lingerie, get a mani and pedi, waxing (if you choose), etc.

Your session takes place during a time that you carved out of your schedule, for you! When you come into the studio you receive professional hair and makeup, wardrobe styling and posing. The whole entire time is dedicated to you. There’s music playing, laughter, me cheering you on and magic being created. After your session you receive artistic images of yourself for you to hold on to for years and years to come.

TESTIMONIAL

“I was nervous that maybe I wasn't "ready" or that I would want to have had more time to "get in shape". I really wish I had known that this was going to be such an empowering and comfortable experience, but I think it's natural for people to be nervous about anything new. During my shoot, I felt so comfortable and free. After the shoot, well, let's just say I called my mom, fiance, and friends and told everyone who would listen that this was literally the best day of my life. I don't know how to articulate or pinpoint what exactly it was that made this experience so transformational but I can name some of the side effects:

> Feeling so deeply silly for being insecure about anything

> Wanting to be best friends with Rebecca and my makeup artist

> An overall sense of being "the main character"

> Seeing more beauty and being more in awe of little things

> Wanting to call my boss and ask for a promotion

> Feeling more impassioned to go after the dreams and goals I've had all along”

-K. E.